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Asking Parents for Their Blessing on Your Engagement

Posted on March 16 2021

An engagement tradition that dates back centuries is asking your significant other's parents for their blessing. It would have been considered rude at least if the person proposing did not do this first and taboo at the most. It is a tradition that seemed to be going out of style until a few years ago. A recent survey shows that the number of partners asking the bride's father for permission has grown, while the number of women who object to the practice has decreased. But, like many traditions, this one has become more modernized. What was once something that was seen as objectifying and paternalistic is now considered a sweet and respectful way to embrace the future. 

While asking your partner's parents for their blessing has made a comeback, there are still some rules and tips you should consider before you pop the question to them.

Ask your partner about asking

Talk to your partner about this ritual well before you plan on proposing. Some people may appreciate or even request the gesture, but others may find it insulting or unneeded. If there is an objection, respect their decision. Doing this also avoids the awkwardness of getting a yes from their parents but a no from your partner. 

Ask in person and alone

Take their parents out for dinner or ask when you are visiting. If your partner's parents live far, give them a call - do not ask over email or text. 

Consider everyone

While tradition typically involves asking the father, this may not always be the best route. Families today can look completely different than they once did. Depending on your partner's familial relations, it may make more sense to ask both parents, just their mom, or their step parent as well. Include this in your discussion with your partner if you are unsure. You should have an idea of how their family dynamics are and whether they are traditional people or not. 

What to say

Now that you know whether you should ask and who to ask, you have to figure out what you are going to say. You should start by talking about your love for their daughter. Then, say a few sentences about why now is the time to move your relationship to the next level. Finally, finish by asking for their blessing. Keep it simple but sweet. 

There is the possibility they could say no, but you need to remain calm if they do. Find out what their reasons are and see if you can put their doubts to rest diplomatically. If they still refuse to give you their blessing, you should tell your partner. Try not to make them pick sides and, instead, decide together what you two should do. It might be better to wait until you can earn their blessings. Perhaps they want you to finish school first or find a steady job. Try your best to understand where their parents are coming from but, ultimately, it will be up to the two of you to decide how to move forward with or without their blessing.

Following this tradition does not mean you cannot make a surprise proposal. It just means you will have to consider more people before you pop the question and plan well in advance. Asking for a family blessing is the perfect opportunity to bond even more with your potential in-laws. Getting everyone on board and looking forward to uniting two families is the best way to start an engagement

When you are ready to ask your beloved for their hand in marriage, check out the selection of engagement rings at La Boutique Del Gioiello. We are sure to have something that will make them say yes. 

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